This is pretty sweet man. I think it captures the scene pretty well, although I listened to it before looking at the picture and after and I had a flashback to Drakengard on the PS2 on my first listen.
It is a bit repetitive, but if this was in a videogame for a scene like this you probably wouldn't notice. My only other issue really Is that the cymbals are way too loud. I didn't know like if you were gonna bring em in real loud like that and then fade em back a bit for the next parts, but they stayed that loud.
I can totally hear a synth solo over this in my head, would be totally rad.
Great job man!